Finally I made it. I woke up before 5AM as I have aimed todo recently. The purpose of waking up early is to have a personal time where I can evaluate my life, learn from the past and planning for the future. Aside from that also to have a special time for personal development.

Until to date, I am still looking the ultimate meaning of life. Why I live? What I want to reach? What benefit that I can offer to community and environment? Some people live, as simple as breathing, sleeping, eating and following the flow and live a mundane life. I want to do more than that. I want to have a meaningful life.

Why I live? This question is a bit rhetorical. But I will try to elaborate an answer anyway. I believe everything exists and happens with a reason. It includes human existences. The exact answer maybe philosophical which is outside of my current knowledge capability. Plants and animals are also live. They are never searching any meaning. But the easy answer might be, the reason of life existences itself is so that we can search for a meaning. How we can do so, because we different with plants and animals we have a brain to solve problems and heart to guide as to do a good thing. Because of these two we have the sophisticated civilization as we have now. We have many great inventions from machineries, computer and advance medical technologies and so on. But at the other side, we keep having war with each other, sometime hate people just because they are different with us or hate without reason at all.

What I want to reach? While paddling the life looking for a meaning, I also need to define direction of my life itself. This is the second question I attempt to answer because life is not infinite. As it has been said above, some people satisfy just to follow the flow without paddling. Even when sometime there is no flow and their life stuck in place or even if at the end flow bring them to opposite direction, some people just accept it. But, one of my greatest bless from God in this life, I have a purpose even though it fluctuates, to have something to reach.

Before start to paddle, I want to always maintain one important life principle. I don't want to steal and to take something that not belong to me. With that in mind I can define what I want to reach in peace of mind. Honestly this is still an ongoing process. Basically, the thing that I want to reach is to have a grateful and happy life here and hereafter. Hereafter is included because as not so that religious person, I always belief in God and the day after. What we are doing in life here is a briefing session for the eternal life later.

Back to what I want to reach in this world, I define it as I want to be rich with knowledge, wisdom and wealth. I want to be a genius person with knowledges that can help to solve world problems, but I also will be always just with wisdom, and with those two I want to have a wealth so that I can give proper life to my family and so that I can be strong so that I can help people around me and to be not suppressed by anyone. At least that is the general idea and I am still contemplating the exact way to paddle to that direction.

What benefit that I can offer to community and environment? Life is nothing if it is just about you. You have family and you are part of communities. The closest family is your wife and children. Your parents and siblings are the next. Outside of this core family you have your big family and long distance relative. Outside family you have friends. You live in some communities. If you work you have colleagues. Human can only be human if they can be part of meaningful agent as member of societies.

The simplest human can do for their surrounding is not to be an asshole. So if not giving any benefit then don't do any damage. In follow up of this idea, there are three types of human. (1) human that is neutral, he doesn't give any damage neither gives any benefit, at least this human is no an asshole, but their existences is meaningless. (2) an asshole, their existences is cursed by everybody. (3) human that gives benefit to their surrounding. Ideally we should be human type (3). If it is difficult, at least be human type (1).

So what kind of benefit that I want to give in this life? I want to start at least to my inner family. My wife and future children. I want to give an excellent life experiences to them. I want to make them happy everyday and I want to always protect them. The basic thing started from for me to work hard and smart everyday so that we can have steady income that will allow us to eat and have a proper shelter. After this basic need I want to have a family that is always thirst with knowledge and wisdom. To educate yourself is not what we have to do in life but it is inseparable aspect from life itself. I want to be learning as core activity that always we do all the time. I always like to learn and read but I realise I haven't had optimal techniques in learn. That's why recently I have learnt to learn a lot. I want to have a family where we have a gigantic library in our house. A family that discuss a lot (It might need some effort because honestly I am not a person that like to talk so much). So that with that we can be a smart and wise family. And for my future children, they can stand on my shoulder and can have an advantage start which I haven't had.

Beside of that man shouldn't forget their parents and siblings too. Although after getting married human unavoidably detached from their previous family but taking care parents and siblings is human second main responsibilities after their wife and kids. Taking care in here starts as simple as maintain communications, which is very easy to do with technologies nowadays. Honestly I still find difficult to talk with my parent. Not because of we have problem or what. I is just because communication was not part of our family culture :(. Man also has to take care their siblings, especially the younger. The easiest way todo is just by giving them advices. Since older siblings has lived longer than their younger and experienced more. Of course it will be better of man can do more to their parents and siblings.

Outside the core family is your community. Work colleagues and people around you. Since most wake time of human is in their workplace, be a type (3) human there. Do your best work everyday. Active in discussions and maintain good relation with your colleagues. Outside workplace, also gives benefit to your people around you, that could be as simple as smile and say hi to people you meet in the lift. Do the same with your environment. Be nice to animals and plants. I like cat so much and I like nature a lot. That's why one of my bucket list is to live in Australia.

For today, that's it.